
Dear Yan,
I noticed you are very tired lately. Every now and then you get up, eat a bit of food, get a drink, grump around, and then go back to sleep. You’ve lost weight. You’ve lost a lot of weight. I know we’ve been to the vet twice now, with a run of antibiotics that has done nothing to stem the weight loss. I hand feed you, but still your weight ticks downward.
Tomorrow we will try the vet once more, but I know this stresses us both out. Maybe we will find something we can cure and you can get back on your feet. But maybe you’re just tired.
I remember seven years ago when I got you. You were a tiny guy, so small and sweet. You and Bandersnatch were there at the pet store. I got both of you together because I knew you were best friends.

You have always been an odd couple. Bander is the dopey, smooth, sweet, quiet one and you are the smart, fluffy, feisty, loud one. You had your spats as roomies but you are the best of friends. I am glad you have been able to be friends for seven years.

I remember when you were so small you fit in your food dish. You would sleep there. Your logic was brilliant. Why not live where the food is, right? Of course, before long you were too big for your cunning plan so you resorted to other stealth tactics for getting your food.

What stealth! I called you my little turtle because that pigloo was your shell. You rarely came out of there, even for food. You would just drag food to the doorway and eat there.

You were also my little adventurer. You’d go exploring when you were out, checking out the places and the people. You loved my family members, but you would always perk up when you heard my voice from another room. Once, you left the room you and Bander were in while I was cleaning the cage, determined to find me. Of course, you didn’t get far down the hall before you got scared, but you took the first step. You always ran to me when you were afraid.

But life has not always been good to you. During my second week of teaching, I came home on a stressful day to find you with your head twitching and your eyes clouded. I was terrified. We went to the emergency vet. You got a subcue, which you hated (and promptly registered a complaint!). You also got Baytril. You hated Baytril. Every dose was a fight. You walked like a tiny furry drunk and I wasn’t sure if you were going to survive. I had to separate you from Bandersnatch, who tried his hardest to break you out of your little prison.
But you bounced back. You even bounced back from another ear infection, and another. We haven’t had an ear infection in years.

When you were well, you were often up to mischief. You and Bandersnatch ran laps around the cage, your fat little bodies hitting the walls of the cage so much that it woke me up at 5am most days. You flipped the pigloo and chewed on things. You’d always look at me like, “I so did not do that.” But I knew the truth.


You have always loved your food. How many days I woke up to angry wheeking or came home and sat down only to hear you demanding food! The best hay, delicious veggies, whatever you wanted. If I didn’t deliver fast enough, I sure heard all about it!

I know we trust each other. Through every illness you’ve had, I’ve seen the trust you put in me. It is more trust than I ever imagined a small animal could put in a human. You’ve learned to take your medicine nicely and until recently you even took hand-feeding well. You have provided wonderful hugs and cuddles when I haven’t felt well.

I know you are very tired right now. Seven years is a long time for a guinea pig to eat and sleep and explore. You’ve had more illness than anyone should have. You’ve always been a fighter, but as the ounces tick down little bits of your spunk and attitude and disappearing with the weight.
Tomorrow will be hard. I don’t want to take you back to get poked at again, but I want to give you the best. Maybe you have a few more months or even years to be with me. Maybe it’s only days or weeks. I don’t know. I will try my best and give you whatever veggies your heart desires.
But I want you to know, if you just want to sleep, then sleep.
I know someday I will try to wake you for some veggies and you won’t get up. I know one day you will find a new place in your sleep, a new place to live and eat and explore. You won’t get sick there. It will be a place where people don’t abuse animals or breed them for profit. You will have no predators to fear. And someday I will come and see you, you’ll recognize my voice, and I will hug you again.
I’m sorry you have had a hard life of illness. I’m sorry that these last few days and weeks have been so hard for both of us with the feedings and the weigh-ins and the vet visits. I’m sorry if I’m interrupting your rest for another cuddle or another offer of a treat.
But it is okay if you want to go. I understand. I will be sad and so will Bandersnatch. You will take a piece of my heart with you when you do leave. I hope you won’t rush out. Maybe stay awhile, enjoy the summer of new produce and new veggies to try. But I understand if it is time for you to go.
Just know that I have given you the very best I could, the very best life I could give to you. I know no other animal will ever be like you. You are the most unique pet I’ve ever had and I will sorely miss your wonderful little personality.
Much love and cuddles, little Yan. Let’s do the best we can. If you want to keep going, I will do what I can to keep you going. Otherwise, eat, drink, and be happy.
Update 6/16/10: This morning, Yan was still alive but in very poor shape. We went to the vet. He had low red blood cell and white blood cell counts and signs of liver failure. Yan was euthanized. It has been a hard day but Yan is finally at rest.